Jillian Michaels and I Have a Love-Hate Relationship

It's so funny to me how many people have encountered Jillian's wrath. I attempted (this is the keyword) Jillian's 30 day shred, Level 1 this week. I am still recovering. I give you a run through of how my workout went:

- Get home from dinner (had nachos, this bodes well)
- Found DVD under papers on the dresser
- Got my hand weights (little sand balls)
-Put DVD in the player, but the remote wouldn't work
- Changed batteries, remote definitely broken (had Carl not been home I would have quit at this point & ate my Girl Scout cookies we talked about last week)
- Went and found identical remote to other DVD player, alas this worked
- Selected Level 1 confidently (after all I have done cardio recently)
- Forgot to put tennis shoes on, found matching socks, now definitely ready to start
- Warm up with weird windmill stretches, I'm feeling very athletic now
- I do jumping jacks which are always a flattering way to workout
- Now Jillian explains that one of her skinny workout buddies (the blonde one) is the person to follow if you want an easy beginners workout, I promptly decide this is obviously not who I am following, I mean, I workout out on the elliptical
- She explains that the workout is 20 minutes with a 2 minute warmup, alright, 2 minutes down
- The workout is in three 6 minute circuits of cardio, strength, and abs, great I can do anything for 20 minutes
- Then she tells me to do push-ups, she does two and gets up to walk around the room, I think I'm done, then I see hard girl still going, I make it to one more before I start doing "girl push-up" with the easy girl, it's all down hill from there
- Then I yell at Jillian for cheating and not doing her own workout
- She punishes me by making me do more push-ups and literally kicking my self in the butt
- I mentally throw her into a den of lions
- Now we go to abs, I thank God, not Jillian, that I can lay down, never have I ever looked forward to crunches
- My husband now kindly lets me know that I have only done 6 minutes, I have also tossed him into the lion's den with Jillian
- We get up to squat for two minutes, I now begin to suspect that I am being filmed for later humiliation, why else would I do windmills, kick myself in the butt, and squat?
- I pause halfway through the third circuit's cardio and just watch the video
- I finish the 20 minutes off by half-heartedly bicycling.
- I drink the Pacific Ocean and collapse into bed

To sum up the results, I couldn't go downstairs or walk for two days. My stupid mornings on the elliptical apparently are nothing compared to this crazy woman who made me look ridiculous for an entire 20 minutes straight. If I get 20 followers on my blog before my next post I promise to post an after-picture from my next Jillian workout! So share with your friends! Have a cookie for me!

Jillian Michaels' Website

The Reason We Don't Keep Our New Years Resolutions

Girl Scout Cookies.

The problem is they make a flavor for everyone. I love Samoas. You're probably a Thin Mint person. This is the problem I have: how do you eat healthy when we socialize over meals? This seems to be the way we make connections. Where do you go to get a healthy meal out? Cheaply? So it seems we need a shift in our social routines. From now on, I will drink gross tea when I meet friends for coffee, I will order salads if I absolutely have to eat out. I won't eat out. I won't order Girl Scout Cookies. Here are some suggestions of what you can do with your friends instead of meeting some where to eat:

- Invite them to your place
- Invite yourself to their place
- Invite them to grocery shop with you
- Play cards
- Play games
- Knit (it can be a group activity)